I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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