You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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