these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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