Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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