I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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