I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
