doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
