His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
