I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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