woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
