My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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