i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
