Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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