wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
