The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
