I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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