exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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