Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
