I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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