i just made my gag reflex go away.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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