It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
