are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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