they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
