Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
where are my eyebrows?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
