what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
