i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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