There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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