where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
and you fell through a lawn chair
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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