Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
