p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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