No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
