Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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