she woke up with a sticky ear
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize