just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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