i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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