I've blown a few things in my day
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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