I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
