I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
