Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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