He told me they were just razor bumps!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
