Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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