Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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(954): View more from Florida

My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

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(503): View more from Oregon

Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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(512): View more from Texas

all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.

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(719): View more from Colorado

OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil

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