I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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