Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
