I hope mine doesn't look like that
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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