She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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