Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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