i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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