I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize