they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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