Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
