Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize