how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
