Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
