im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
