You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
