Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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