no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
