I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i will never coherently bang her
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
