Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
