I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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