32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
