I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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